It will not come as a surprise to anyone who has read my previous blog posts that I am well versed in the world of online dating.
It’s been just over a year and a half now since I started delving into the realms of internet dating and I feel that now it is important that I share my experiences with others like me, who have found themselves searching for love online after years of being in a relationship.
Over the past year and a half, I have been on a fair number of dates. Every time I have told my friends who are in committed long-term relationships about any date I was going on/had been on they greeted me with trepidation. “I would be so scared to go on a date with someone I had never met!”, “If I was single I don’t think I would be able to go on online dates!”. These were just two of the phrases that often greeted me and to be fair before I was single these statements would directly reflect my own feelings. However, people don’t date like they used to in my parents’ era, online dating is now by far the most popular way of dating.
When I first starting looking into online dating I was scared. I’m not always the best when it comes to rejection and I was doubtful that I would find someone I could have a great romantic connection with. How can you truly get to know someone from behind a computer screen? However, after delving further into the life of online dating I was surprised by what I found. It is possible to find connections with people through the world wide web and these connections can lead somewhere and thus I began to go on dates.
For someone who hadn’t really ever been on a date, I didn’t really know at first what I was looking for. I went on my first few dates without a clue as to what to expect. Now, it is safe to say that I have had some good dates, some none starter dates, some absolutely terrible dates and some wonderful dates. Even though not all my dates led anywhere I still have taken something from each one. Whether it be learning something about myself or learning what I did not want in the opposite sex, (my terrible dates have been a great starting point for this!) ultimately though all my dates have helped me.
Before all of the dates I have been on I used to always worry that I would be stuck for conversation, I see myself as a shy individual who gets embarrassed easily, but to my surprise, I was far more confident than I had known I could be. This is one good thing that online dating has taught me and I actually feel more confident in myself than I have done in a long time.
On the other hand, I learnt that after being out of the loop for so long I wasn’t too sure how to start many conversations. I struggled at first to be flirty so to speak and I couldn’t always think of a witty reply. This is something that changed over time and eventually I only really spoke to people who sent me intriguing introductions; it showed that there was something more to those type of people and gave me hope that I could have a conversation based on more than how are you’s and what are you up to’s.
I hope that for anyone who is starting online dating after being in a long-term relationship will take some hope from this and realise that it is not such a scary world in the deep depth of online dating.
In the end, the world of online dating has taught me a lot; positives and negatives. And though I am currently taking a break from dating I know that when I am ready to dive back in I will be ready.
“Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant.”