I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghost(ing)

In this modern day and age people more often than not meet the loves of their lives online. Technological advances mean that in just a few clicks you can find Mr/Mrs Right and be on your way to eternal happiness.

With the increase in modern technology it is also easier than ever to stay in touch with someone. The majority of the worlds population now has a mobile phone and more often than not it is likely glued to their side; the worst feeling is often that sheer panic when you can’t find your beloved mobile.

However, with the increase in modern dating and communication there is also a new phenomenon on the raise and that my friends is called ghosting.

Now, for anyone who is unsure what ghosting is, it is when someone just abruptly stops talking to you. They are unlikely to give a reason why and therefore will spend a great deal of time wondering what went wrong.

Back in a time when men were a great deal more gentlemanly, ghosting would rarely happen. The dreaded ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line would be used to ended communication and as gut wrenching as that line can be, it is altogether a nicer end than to ghost someone.

You would say that with all the ways in which people communicate now than ghosting couldn’t happen but let me tell you modern technology only makes everything worse. When you have a potential romantic interest on Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram etc you are very much aware of their movements and therefore the ghosting is oh so obvious!

Now, I will admit I have ghosted people in the past and after recently having been ghosted myself I know how awful that feeling is. You know exactly when that person has been online and to be completely ignored is heart breaking. I felt so insecure after being ghosted as I was so sure things were going well. I didn’t want a relationship per say just having the attention was enough as I really had no time to give to a new relationship, and by all accounts this is what I thought he wanted too.

Then it all stopped. After double messaging to no avail I gave up. If he really wanted to talk to me he would. I felt miserable. I had really liked this guy and I had never felt more attracted to a man in my life after meeting him. I then resorted to tactics I hadn’t used in a number of years, I became an attention seeker. I took smoking hot selfies and uploaded pictures from my exercise classes (I attend pole dancing classes) and pretty much tried everything I could to get his attention. Alas, still no reply. I was half pressed to call him out on his behaviour but what would that achieve? I would only look more psychotic as we were only flirting, no boundaries had been established.

When it comes to ghosting you have to understand that it is not your fault. Yes, you may have said something which made them change their mind about you but at the end of the day if they really liked you they would give it a shot or have the decency to inform you that it wasn’t going to work.

After this experience of being ghosted I decided I would make sure that if I really didn’t think something was going somewhere I would be straight with the guy as I no longer want to be a person who ghosts someone.

If you choose not to inform me that you no longer want to talk to me who’s loss is it really.

‘When you get ghosted be happy, they’re on a one-way ticket with no return address.’

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